Stephanie was invited to write this guest post for the Olive Fertility Centre:
As the holiday season winds down, one more holiday tradition remains: pondering those pesky New Year’s resolutions. It’s interesting that this tradition continues when research says only 8% of people actually achieve them!
One of the problems with resolutions is that they can create effort mode, obsession with outcomes & notions of success & failure.
The hazard of expectations on specific outcomes is that we live in a world where internal & external conditions constantly change, which can derail even the most well-prepared & tenacious. Those on a fertility journey know this all too well. Even when everything is ‘perfect’ our desired outcome is still not within our control.
It’s a subtle shift in language but perhaps we might think in terms of intentions rather than resolutions. While resolutions are firm & hard, intentions are more flexible. They’re about where & how we direct our attention, finding that sweet spot between effort & patience. They’re about being mindful.
An intention shouldn’t be confused with a goal. It’s not something you attach an expectation or evaluation to – it’s something you want to align with in life. It’s an aim, a purpose or attitude you’re committed to embodying. It’s how you want to show up in the world & most importantly, with kindness & compassion both toward yourself & in relationship with others.
An interview with meditation teacher Jack Kornfield resonates with me. He invites us to pause & “sit quietly for a moment…to rest our heart & ask, “What is my best intention, my most noble aspiration?” If you quiet yourself, your heart will answer. The answer could be simple: “I vow to be kind no matter what.” When the answer comes, write it down. When you feel lost or confused, take a breath & remember that vow.”
Wishing you well-being, gentle connection with your heart & the possibility of a quiet contentment in the simple everyday moments of your life throughout the new year.